A Success Story in Progress
By Sophie Makonnen
What Does Success Look Like?
Success. It’s a word we hear constantly, aim for instinctively, and often measure ourselves against, sometimes without even realizing it. Early in our careers, success tends to have a clear shape: landing the job, getting the promotion, earning a spot on a key project team, managing a budget for the first time, or leading a field visit or special initiative. It might look like receiving positive performance reviews, gaining recognition from a supervisor, submitting a report that earns praise from partners or funders, or being invited to present results at a staff meeting or regional event. It’s often about being seen, delivering tangible results, and showing we can be trusted with meaningful responsibility.
But what happens when that definition no longer fits?
As we move through different stages of our professional lives, our context changes, and so do we. What once felt like a win may now feel hollow or even out of reach. You might be doing all the same things, chasing the same outcomes, but the environment, your priorities, or your inner landscape has shifted. And suddenly, what used to feel like success starts to feel like stagnation or worse, frustration. That doesn’t mean you’re no longer successful. It might just mean your definition hasn’t caught up with your current reality.
In this reflection, I want to explore how success evolves, why we sometimes get stuck chasing old goals in new circumstances, and how redefining success can open up new paths for meaning and momentum.
The Danger of Clinging to Past Metrics
There's comfort in familiar benchmarks. When we've spent years being recognized for our responsiveness, problem-solving, or ability to deliver under pressure, indeed, it makes sense that we'd keep aiming for more of the same. After all, those were the things that once earned us praise, promotions, and a sense of accomplishment. But what if the context shifts and the markers you used to rely on no longer quite fit anymore?
Sometimes the organizational landscape changes. Leadership turns over, priorities are redefined, and the structures that once rewarded our efforts evolve in ways that no longer align with how we work best. Other times, we're the ones who make a change. We take on a new role, move to a different organization, launch our own business, or decide to work independently. Our reality shifts, but we continue to use the same scorecard. What used to define success may no longer be applicable, yet we continue to measure ourselves against it, often without realizing it.
Instead, we often hold on to the old version of success because it's well ingrained. It's the framework that helped us achieve results in the past, the one that shaped our sense of competence and credibility. So, we continue to apply it, even when the context has changed. But when those familiar markers no longer bring the same rewards or are no longer possible, because we've outgrown them or our circumstances have changed, success may start to feel less satisfying. Not because we're doing less, but because we've changed course or we've grown comfortable and are ready for new challenges.
Clinging to past definitions of success can keep us stuck in expectations that no longer serve us. It can chip away at our confidence, making us question whether we're still as capable as we once were, when in fact, it may just be that the way we're evaluating success hasn't kept pace with who we've become or where we are.
Sometimes, what feels like failure is really just a misalignment between your current reality and an outdated script.
Redefining Success Isn’t Giving Up—It’s Adapting
Letting go of an old definition of success can feel uncomfortable, even risky. But more often, it’s a strategic move: a way to adapt to new realities and continue to excel in our work by making the kind of contributions that matter and are truly needed in your new professional circumstances.
Hence, I suggest that success isn’t about holding on to one fixed idea; it’s about staying aligned with what matters most now. That alignment will shift as your role changes, as your personal life evolves, or as your professional goals take a new shape. The ability to pause, reassess, and reframe your definition of success is not a weakness or a failure; it’s how you ensure continued success in a form that’s adapted to your new reality.
In Coaching, I Often Ask…
When the old signs of success stop making sense, it’s easy to feel lost or frustrated because you think you’re not delivering or stuck trying to replicate something that no longer fits. That’s often when it helps to pause and take a closer look at what you’re measuring and why.
Here are a few questions I often ask in coaching conversations:
Where are you using someone else’s measure of success?
What are you already succeeding at but not naming?
What are you holding on to that once worked—but may not serve you now?
If success didn’t need to be recognized or rewarded, what would it look like for you?
These questions don’t always lead to quick answers, but they open the door to more clarity. And from there, we can start building a version of success that’s sustainable, satisfying, and aligned with who you are now.
An Invitation: Rethink the Story You're Telling Yourself
Success isn't a static destination; it's a story we tell ourselves about what matters, what we're striving for, and what "enough" looks like. That story needs to be updated periodically. Especially when we've changed, or the world around us has.
So here's your invitation:
Take a moment to ask yourself what success looks like for me right now, in this season of my life and work? Not what it used to be. Not what it should be. What feels right and relevant now? And while you're at it, ask yourself this: Where am I already succeeding, but not giving myself credit?
When we shift the lens even slightly, we often find that we're not off course after all. We're just moving toward something new. Something that reflects the leader, the professional, the human being you've become.
Reflecting on what success means to us today is no small thing. It’s a way to stay connected to what matters, in a world—and a career—that’s constantly evolving. We have the right to rewrite that definition: not because we’ve failed, but because we’ve changed. And if we take the time to adjust it, we might just realize that we’re already succeeding… just differently.
You're allowed to update the definition. It shows you’re not stuck, you’re evolving
Enjoyed this post? Share it with someone who might appreciate it