Listening: The Communication Skill That Speaks Volumes
By Sophie Makonnen
In the last two articles, we explored communication—How conversations can go wrong, how to navigate and repair them, and How to prepare for discussions you know will be challenging. Those posts focused on offering tools to help you communicate mindfully and respectfully.
In this insight, I want to focus on one of the most important yet often overlooked communication elements. While we touched on it indirectly before, it's time to look more closely at what it truly means and how to practice it intentionally. I’m referring to listening.
Listening isn't just about understanding others, it's also about building confidence. When people feel genuinely heard, their confidence grows. As you become a better listener, you'll strengthen your confidence in leading, communicating, and making decisions.
Most of us believe we are good listeners. Often, it's because we stay silent, avoid interrupting, and nod along. And yes, those behaviours are part of listening, but they are certainly not enough. Real listening is active, intentional, and much more complicated than we think.
As Tijs Besieux indicates in his article “A Simple Way to Boost Your Listening Skills, ” research shows that people are distracted, forgetful, or preoccupied 75% of the time when listening. Less than 2% of the global population has received formal education on how to listen effectively. And many organizations still allocate 80% of their communication efforts to speaking, not listening. It's no wonder many conversations leave people feeling unheard, even in workplaces committed to collaboration and inclusion.
Yet, listening well remains one of the most powerful ways to foster understanding, build connections, and support meaningful collaboration.
We sometimes bring expertise and experience that can help guide others toward a solution. Offering insights, showing the way forward, and sharing lessons learned can be invaluable. But there’s a difference between supporting someone and taking over their problem—between walking alongside them and carrying their burden for them.
Other times, the most helpful thing you can do is listen without interrupting or jumping in so the other person has room to think things through. This kind of listening demonstrates trust in the other person's ability to reflect, problem-solve, and take ownership of their path.
Listening is also essential because, without it, we tend to filter what we hear through our assumptions, experiences, and perspectives. It's human nature, but it's also how misunderstandings and miscommunication often arise. When we fail to understand where someone is coming from, we risk responding to what we think they mean rather than what they are trying to say. This is often where conflict begins, not from disagreement but from not genuinely hearing one another.
This blog's aim isn't to transform you into a good listener (I'm not suggesting you aren't already) but rather to deepen your understanding of what good listening truly involves and share research-backed strategies you can apply.
Active Listening
Robin Abrahams and Boris Groysberg, in their article "How to Become a Better Listener", describe active listening as having three essential aspects:
Cognitive: Paying attention to all the information, both explicit and implicit, that you are receiving from the other person, comprehending it, and integrating that information.
Example: During a project planning session, Tara initially focuses on quantitative metrics and is eager to track results. But as she listens more attentively to Rose's observations from the field, she picks up on subtle information that aren't reflected in the data—like concerns raised by community partners. By integrating both what Rose says directly and what's implied between the lines, Tara helps shape a more complete picture for their report.
Emotional: Staying calm and compassionate during the conversation, including managing emotional reactions you might experience.
Example: In a tense discussion about project timelines, Tara feels pressure from HQ to deliver quickly, while Rose worries about community readiness. Rather than shutting down or becoming defensive, Tara acknowledges her stress but stays present. At the same time, Rose recognizes Tara's challenges and chooses to remain curious, asking, "What's the biggest risk you see if we adjust the timeline?" Their shared emotional self-regulation opens space for a more thoughtful solution.
Behavioural: Conveying interest and comprehension verbally and nonverbally.
Example: Rose listens while Tara explains the donor's non-negotiable requirements as they brainstorm the next steps. Rose nods, maintains steady eye contact, and says, "I hear that the deadlines are tight and you're concerned about losing funding if we delay. Let's determine how to meet those needs while bringing in local perspectives." Tara, feeling heard, mirrors Rose's approach and ensures that Rose's contributions to the plan they propose together are acknowledged.
These three dimensions help us move from simply hearing words to truly understanding and engaging with the person in front of us.
Practical Tips for Becoming a Better Listener
Like any skill, listening improves with intention, practice, and reflection. Here are some strategies to strengthen your listening muscle:
Give your full attention. Put away your phone, close your laptop, and minimize distractions. If you can't give your full attention at the moment, it's better to pause the conversation than offer half-hearted listening.
Stay present. Don't plan your response while the other person is speaking. Focus on listening, not on what you'll say next. Remember: Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. — Stephen R. Covey
Maintain eye contact. Look at the speaker (even if they don't always look back). Eye contact signals presence and attentiveness. If this doesn't come naturally, let the person know—transparency helps maintain connection.
Avoid interrupting. Let the speaker finish their thoughts. Resist the urge to jump in, even if you think you have the answer or insight.
Hold back judgment. Notice when judgmental thoughts arise and gently set them aside. If you lose focus because of them, it's okay to acknowledge them and ask the speaker to repeat—this builds honesty and trust.
Don't rush to offer solutions. Most people benefit from being heard before being helped. If you have a suggestion, offer it lightly: "I wonder what would happen if you tried X?"
Ask clarifying questions. Use questions to ensure you understand, not to satisfy your curiosity. Ask yourself, Will this help them feel understood?
Reflect back on what you've heard. Repeat or paraphrase key points: "Let me make sure I understand..." This not only confirms comprehension but helps the speaker feel truly heard.
Be explicit when you paraphrase. Let the speaker know if you're putting things into your own words. For example: "I'm going to rephrase this to be sure I've got it."
Pay attention to non-verbal cues. Tone, facial expressions, and body language often reveal emotions that words don't. Respond to these cues with empathy.
Monitor your emotions. Stay aware of how you're feeling during the conversation. Strong emotions can pull your attention away—acknowledge them and refocus.
Reflect afterward. Take time after the conversation to review how you listened. Were there moments you missed an opportunity to ask a question or dig deeper? Reflection sharpens your awareness for next time.
Listening to Everyday Interactions
Intentional listening isn’t just for moments when someone needs support, raises a concern, or when conversations feel high stakes. Some essential listening happens during routine exchanges, team meetings, quick check-ins, status updates, or informal chats between colleagues. These moments often go unnoticed, shaping how trust and understanding are built over time.
When we listen well during simple exchanges, we’re not just gathering information but reinforcing respect, clarity, and connection. It signals to others that their contributions matter, whether they share project updates or ideas in a brainstorming session. And when people feel heard in day-to-day conversations, they’re more likely to engage openly when complex or sensitive issues arise.
In these everyday moments, intentional listening looks like:
Treat every exchange as an opportunity to build trust. Even brief updates or routine meetings are chances to show respect and attentiveness. Consistently listening with presence, whether a five-minute debrief or an informal chat—signals that people’s contributions matter.
Confirm shared understanding, not just information. Misunderstandings often happen when we assume we’ve heard correctly. Take a moment to summarize what’s been agreed on or ask clarifying questions: “Just to make sure we’re on the same page, we’ll move forward with…”
Acknowledge contributions, even small ones. Simple acknowledgments—like “That’s helpful” or “Good point, let’s include that”—show you’re paying attention and valuing what’s shared rather than just moving through an agenda.
Follow up to reinforce listening. When someone shares an idea, raises a concern, or gives an update, make a point to circle back later. It could be as simple as: “I spoke with the team after your suggestion yesterday, and we’re adjusting the plan.” This kind of follow-through builds confidence that their voice is heard and has an impact.
Listening in the Context of International Organizations
Listening is an essential skill in any context, but it takes on even greater importance in international organizations. Working across cultures, languages, and time zones adds complexity and amplifies the need for intentional, inclusive listening.
Language differences mean that what's left unsaid can be just as important as what is spoken. Sometimes, things can also get lost in translation—a word or phrase might unintentionally carry a different meaning or, in some cases, come across as offensive or unintentionally humorous. Listening carefully can help uncover concerns or ideas that may not be expressed directly, and clarifying intentions can avoid misunderstandings.
Cultural norms affect how people communicate—whether they feel comfortable voicing disagreement, how they approach silence, or when they consider it appropriate to speak. Listening with cultural humility allows space for diverse voices to be heard on their terms.
Virtual communication—video calls, time delays, and inconsistent internet connections—creates additional barriers to genuine listening. It requires patience and a conscious effort to stay engaged.
Different perspectives and pressures. Understanding the diverse roles within international organizations is crucial. For example, field teams often work closely with communities, government counterparts, or other beneficiaries, bringing ground-level realities and implementation challenges. Headquarters, however, may manage donor expectations, policy commitments, and strategic objectives. Listening to each other's contexts helps bridge the gap between operational needs and institutional priorities, reducing misunderstandings and fostering mutual respect.
When we listen well in international organizations, we:
Gain critical insights from colleagues working closest to the ground, which leads to more informed, context-sensitive decisions.
Ensure that decisions reflect the lived realities of the communities, governments, or stakeholders we aim to serve rather than assumptions or distant perspectives.
Amplify marginalized voices, ensuring team members from underrepresented backgrounds feel heard and included.
Build trust across diverse teams and stakeholder groups, fostering open dialogue and deeper collaboration.
Listening isn't passive—it's an active choice to prioritize understanding. It is fundamental to achieving equity, inclusion, and meaningful impact in global teams and international development settings.
Reflection on Listening and Leadership
Many of the people I work with, and many of you reading this, are action-takers. You are professionals who make decisions, manage teams, solve problems, and deliver results. Listening isn't about stepping back or slowing down—it's a deliberate choice to create space for better thinking, deeper connection, and more thoughtful action.
I know this from experience. Early in my career, my strengths were clear: my knowledge, experience, and ability to manage teams and deliver solutions. I was often the fixer, navigating complexity and pushing for results that worked for everyone involved.
But when I became a coach, everything shifted. My role was no longer about bringing technical expertise or leading the charge toward a solution. It was about holding space, listening fully, and trusting that the answers would emerge from the person before me. I wasn't there to fix things anymore. And that's when I truly learned to listen.
I've come to understand that listening isn't about doing less—it's about being present differently. It's about slowing down just enough to hear what matters so you can act with more clarity, confidence, and respect for those around you.
Real listening doesn't just create understanding—it builds the confidence to lead, collaborate, and make decisions that resonate.
You don't have to be in the most senior role to listen like a leader. Learning to listen now sets the tone for the kind of leader you are becoming—one who leads with curiosity, courage, and care.
"When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you listen, you may learn something new." — Dalai Lama.