The Beliefs That Shape Our Choices
By Sophie Makonnen
The weight of beliefs we no longer question
Recently, a short reel appeared in my social media feed, something I wouldn't usually stop to watch. It was about manifestation, and it said that our world is a projection of our thoughts. I had heard that before, as many of us have, through books or videos about visualization and mindset. I wasn’t planning to dive into that topic, but it made me pause. It reminded me how much our thoughts and beliefs shape how we experience the world, and how some of those beliefs, once useful, can eventually hold us back.
This realization also reminded me of an idea I explored in A Success Story in Progress: we are always evolving, and what helps us grow at one stage may no longer serve us at another.
The way we see the world is filtered through many things, including the beliefs we hold about ourselves and others. The challenge is that we often mistake these perspectives for absolute truths. Over time, we become attached to them, allowing them to guide our decisions. When a belief that once supported us no longer fits our current situation, it can start to limit us.
Some beliefs support us for a time and then stop fitting the context we’re in. These are the ones I encounter most often with coaching clients, the quiet patterns that limit growth until we start to question them.
“I need to have it all figured out before I start.”
This belief often shows up among ambitious, conscientious professionals. It sounds responsible, even strategic. Who wouldn’t want to be prepared? But it sometimes hides a fear of uncertainty and a discomfort with imperfection. Waiting until everything feels clear or under control often means waiting too long. Clarity rarely appears in advance; it grows through action, reflection, and adjustment. Progress builds confidence, not the other way around. Sometimes, the most productive step forward is simply to begin.
“If I set boundaries, I’ll disappoint others.”
Many people believe they must have everything figured out before beginning, hoping to support others and be dependable. However, this effort to meet every expectation can cause exhaustion. When boundaries are missing, focus scatters, and even good intentions can start to feel heavy.
The key message: Setting boundaries creates clarity, not distance. Boundaries give you room to respond with presence rather than resentment. True reliability comes from consistency, not endless availability. Saying no when needed allows you to say yes with genuine energy and purpose.
Uncertainty means something is wrong.”
Most of us feel uneasy when clarity fades. We look for signs that something has gone wrong, when often it simply means we are moving into new territory.
Learning, adapting, and innovating often begin where clarity is lacking. Instead of treating uncertainty as an obstacle, treat it as useful information. It invites curiosity, not fear. Progress relies on steadiness within uncertainty, not its elimination.
As I explored in Staying Present in Uncertainty, momentum builds from taking the next small, informed step, observing what unfolds, and adjusting along the way, not from waiting until every variable is known.
“If I’m not fully ready, I shouldn’t speak up.”
Hesitation about speaking up often comes from the belief that confidence must come first, but in reality, confidence usually follows action. As I wrote in Speak Up. Take Space. Lead Now, waiting until everything feels certain can mean missing the moment to contribute. Speaking up before you feel ready isn’t pretending to know more. Speak Up. Take Space. Lead Now
“Rest means falling behind.”
This belief runs deep in many workplaces where constant motion is equated with commitment. The idea that slowing down will set us back can be difficult to challenge, yet fatigue quietly drains focus, perspective, and creativity long before we notice its effects.
Taking time off is not a sign of losing progress, as I explained in Time Off is Part of the Job, it benefits leadership. Breaks are essential for refreshing your mind and body, helping you make better decisions and achieve goals more sustainably.
Similarly, sleep plays an active role in leadership. In Sleep to Lead Better, I highlighted that rest is integral to performance, not a reward for working hard. Recovery allows us to regain perspective lost under stress, showing that sustained performance relies on balancing effort with rest.
“Productivity means filling every minute.”
This belief is among the hardest to unlearn. We often gauge value by how busy or scheduled we seem. The result is activity without renewal—long days may feel full but are rarely satisfying. Productivity becomes a race rather than a rhythm that sustains focus and quality.
In Not Every Day Is a Power Day (And That’s Fine, we explored how our energy rises and falls naturally. Aligning work with these cycles helps us get more done with less strain. True productivity is not about maximizing every minute; it’s about knowing when to engage and when to pause.
In coaching conversations, these beliefs often appear quietly at first, hidden beneath busyness or self-doubt. Bringing them to light changes everything. It’s not about fixing or replacing them, but understanding where they came from and what they still have to teach.
As Jennifer Garvey Berger explains in Unlocking Leadership Mindtraps, one trap is the need to protect the version of ourselves we've built. Over time, we invest energy in showing and defending that identity: the one who knows, helps, and leads. We easily forget we are still evolving. Some beliefs become so tied to that identity that questioning them feels like a loss.
Growth sometimes asks us to loosen our grip, to set aside what no longer fits, and to make space for what is next. When we begin to notice the quiet assumptions that shape our choices, we create room for perspectives that are more attuned to who we are today and who we are still becoming. Take a moment this week to reflect on the beliefs guiding your actions. Identify one assumption you can question or adjust, and see how it changes your approach.
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